By Teresa Collins
Five years ago, I had the ultimate life change. I was widowed after nineteen years of marriage. My handsome husband was only 52 years old and he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was in complete disbelief and deeply heartbroken. I remember saying, “God, I did not sign up for this.”
I love everything being predictable. I hate change. I like to eat at the same restaurants, order the same food, etc. I am such a creature of habit. Tyler died and I was widowed and alone. I had to re-frame the way I saw everything going forward in my life.
It can often bring us clarity
Losing my husband changed me instantly. Life was no longer
the same. It knocked me to the ground and I crumbled into a ball
and wept. I surrendered to the pain. I had to face it and accept
that I had two choices. I could go on or I could give up. I made the choice through many tears and sadness I had never experienced before, to face my new reality and allow it to reshape me going forward on my life journey.
I know my experience is not unique. I’m sure you have
experienced a time of profound grief, sadness, loss, or faced a
relationship ending and felt completely heartbroken.
Often, we don’t get to choose our new beginning. Widowhood was forced on me. I faced in a profoundly intimate way the fact that we have to KEEP GOING. There is no other way. I slowed down and I allowed my broken heart to FEEL all the emotions. It is so important to allow yourself the beautiful moments of accepting and taking the time to seek your new beginning.
My new beginning came with worry, I wasn’t sleeping and I was
being afraid of being a single parent to our children. In those first
few days and weeks, I really didn’t know where to start.
I forced myself to look for the good in the bad. I even had to
keep a journal to process all the feelings. I realized that I could
control some things. I would choose to re-write the next part of my
life story. New beginnings are personal for each of us. We do not
have the power to control what we go through in life, but we can
choose more than we realize. It’s normal to feel NOT okay at times.
Change is hard whether it is something we wanted or not. To be honest, I believe my new beginning has helped me to grow in ways I never imagined. I believe we grow through what we go through. We are resilient beings. If we remember how strong we are, we can face hard times, and cope with change differently.
I found comfort in my belief that no matter what happens to me, no matter what I face, that at the end of the day I am becoming the person that life has shaped me to be.
I encourage you to be gentle
with yourself if you are struggling
with NEW BEGINNINGS. It
can often bring us incredible
clarity and strength as
we contemplate our
purpose in facing