Feel Good

By Teresa Collins

Website: teresacollinsstudio.com

Facebook: @teresacollinsstudio

Instagram: @teresacollinsstudio

Five years ago, I had the ultimate life change. I was widowed after nineteen years of marriage. My handsome husband was only 52 years old and he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was in complete disbelief and deeply heartbroken. I remember saying, “God, I did not sign up for this.”

 

I love everything being predictable. I hate change. I like to eat at the same restaurants, order the same food, etc. I am such a creature of habit. Tyler died and I was widowed and alone. I had to re-frame the way I saw everything going forward in my life.

NEW BEGINNINGS...

It can often bring us clarity

and strength…

Losing my husband changed me instantly. Life was no longer

the same. It knocked me to the ground and I crumbled into a ball

and wept. I surrendered to the pain. I had to face it and accept

that I had two choices. I could go on or I could give up. I made the choice through many tears and sadness I had never experienced before, to face my new reality and allow it to reshape me going forward on my life journey.

 

I know my experience is not unique. I’m sure you have

experienced a time of profound grief, sadness, loss, or faced a

relationship ending and felt completely heartbroken. 

 

Often, we don’t get to choose our new beginning. Widowhood was forced on me. I faced in a profoundly intimate way the fact that we have to KEEP GOING. There is no other way. I slowed down and I allowed my broken heart to FEEL all the emotions. It is so important to allow yourself the beautiful moments of accepting and taking the time to seek your new beginning.

 

My new beginning came with worry, I wasn’t sleeping and I was

being afraid of being a single parent to our children. In those first

few days and weeks, I really didn’t know where to start.

 

I forced myself to look for the good in the bad. I even had to

keep a journal to process all the feelings. I realized that I could

control some things. I would choose to re-write the next part of my

life story. New beginnings are personal for each of us. We do not

have the power to control what we go through in life, but we can

choose more than we realize. It’s normal to feel NOT okay at times.

Change is hard whether it is something we wanted or not. To be honest, I believe my new beginning has helped me to grow in ways I never imagined. I believe we grow through what we go through. We are resilient beings. If we remember how strong we are, we can face hard times, and cope with change differently.

 

I found comfort in my belief that no matter what happens to me, no matter what I face, that at the end of the day I am becoming the person that life has shaped me to be.

 

I encourage you to be gentle

with yourself if you are struggling

with NEW BEGINNINGS. It

can often bring us incredible

clarity and strength as

we contemplate our

purpose in facing

change.

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